since nobody...

is reading my blog, I will just write whatever I want whatever is in my head, my feelings my depressions, that will keep people way for sure, but what's the point, my life suck so bad, that I can't even think other words anymore, sometimes I ask God why not just take me from here, what is the point of all this, leaving like this, like looser, like a big pathetic looser I don't even know if I am spelling looser right, don't care, i am just really tired of leaving meaningless shit life. there I said it, more like I wrote it, typed actually, blah blah blah.

Bad Dreams or just very weird dreams?

last night I had the most weird dream as long I can remember...
"people were being smashed in some kinda of metal thing, can't really describe, there were car crashs that would blend them like soup or mash potato in color of blood, and I could see the soup dripping on the floor and I remember being terrified that, that could happen to me.. "

I wonder if it means anything?!?!

BORED TO DEATH

yes, I am bored out of my mind, so I ask to whom ever see this--

what would do for 100 million dollars????

THE ART OF NCIS

Looking through the internet, I came across this website called Deviantart.com
there you can find numerous of NCIS art, purchased, collect them...

http://www.deviantart.com/

TferThomas: Twitter's Ten Craziest Celebrities

TferThomas: Twitter's Ten Craziest Celebrities

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GREAT SITE FOR QUOTES

I love quotes, I used to carry around with me a notebook, and everytime I'd see a quote a liked, I would write it down, I haven't been doing that anymore, but I found this website with great quotes from movies, life quotes and etc.

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
William Shakespeare

Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Winston Churchill

Where there is love there is life.
Indira Gandhi

The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.
Thomas Carlyle

this is just a few, here's the link. http://www.allgreatquotes.com/life_quotes.shtml

AMY NADINE THE BEAUTY QUEEN

AMY NADINE THE BEAUTY QUEEN

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Michael Weatherly Happy Birthday

I could not forget to make a blog wishing one of my favorite actors, Michael Weatherly a very happy birthday.
Michael was born in July 08, 1968, he plays Anthony DiNozzo in one of the hottest show on Television, NCIS.

Turning 41 today and he looks better than never.
Happy Birthday Michael and many many blessings for you.

EIGHT AND LAST ONE

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

MY MASK

I was dying on the inside so I put on a mask so that people would not see it... but I noticed I was dead and now I cry my death.... I look everywhere and all I see is a rotten world and I am part of this rotten life while I still here... I don't know much to say, only that I am really weak for not being or not .... I think I just don't exist in this world. You know when you feel there's something missing like a piece of you? I am this way I feel there's something missing, nothing seems real, I cant be sure of anything, if I have my feet on the ground or if I am wake or dreaming, its not the reality I wanted to live, I look myself in the mirror and I just don't like what I see in that reflection and at the same time, I am not what I wanted to be, not even close, I didn't do things that I wanted to, I did things that I did not wanted to do, I did bad things and I have to live with that, with this moments for the rest of my life. I lived through horrible moments that I just cant shake them off, I don't know if I will ever be able to forget, moments that made my life, myself into nothing, today I cant get answers for those questions that wont leave my mind, who am I? maybe just a crazy woman who doesn't know what she wants, maybe none of this has meaning, but maybe the hole in my heart my soul will be fulfilled when I live life. but do you think that anyone knows about this? no nobody only me and this blog, people who will read, even if someone I know reads this blog they wont know its me. I have no one to turn... that's why I wear this mask, so everyone thinks its fine, but they don't know that I am dead on the inside.

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SEVEN

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I wish you could see inside of me.

Lyric Inside Of Me - General Sih

I cannot, explain, what, I feel when im close to you What i'1l do I cannot, not breath No words to say Everytime i see your face, i see your face I have to love you, but inside of me I cannot tell you, i want to I wish someone for you That cares the way i wanted I want to do, i want you I know that, I have to, To love you But inside of me Please don't tell me again I'll take care, about yourself But far away I wish you'll be okay, you'll be okay! I have to love you, but inside of me I cannot tell you, i want to I wish someone for you That cares the way i wanted I want to do, i want you When I see you I dont know what to do I just look at you Wishin' one day Be near from you I have to love you, but inside of me I cannot tell you, i want to I wish someone for you That cares the way i wanted I want to do, i want you!

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SIX

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD LYRICS "Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten Oh, oh, oh I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten Oh, yeah, yeah

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FIVE

Thursday, April 10, 2008

IT'S TIME TO LOVE

Goddess of love....
help me find....
a true prince........
to give love.......
and lots of kisses............
and all in name of happiness............
to be someone I always imagined........
just a guy with dreams like me............ with open heart..........
and send my loneless way from me.........
it doesn't have to be someone from another planet........
I just want him to love me the way that I am...........
it's time to love.......
I waited my whole life.......
just to tell you........
it's time to love.........
everything I look...........
I will find in you..........
it's time to love....... come and wake me up with a kiss.........
whoever you are....... come and wake me up with a kiss..........
it's you that I want...........
I need a friend right now..........
if you connect, stay.........
because to be lonely is dangerous........ Show me what's love, teach me to live.........
in exchange I'll give all the kisses I never gave.......
give me attention, welcome to my heart....... just give me love I'll follow you anywhere........

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FOUR

Thursday, April 10, 2008

FALLING BACK SIX STEPS

I thought I had find someone
to love, to love me,
but I was wrong......
I had one week of happiness,
all I have now is pain,
I've falling six steps,
and does not feel good.

when we find someone so different...
and that person is so special....
I feel this passion....
and gets so hot.......
and my heart beats so fast....
suddenly you look at me...
take my hand and I say yes.....
I am not touching the ground...
my love has no cure.....
I am crazy for you........

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STILL THREE

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Simply Me.
Trapped inside this web of lies
Too far lost in my own mind
I will follow where you lead
Although I've tried I can't succeed.
My heart is entwined with thorns and vines
Confusion grows with every line
My spirit lifts away from me
Tangled in mist which cannot be seen.
Corrupted by immoral expectation
Don't come to my life without invitation
The things you say are so discreet
Though you never think before you speak
Courageously you approach my feet
I have no strength, you make me weak.
I want to forgive you
But I cannot feel
You've sunk to deep
I cannot heal.
Inside my secrets are concealed
It burns to see you face
I want to hide from everything
And no longer be disgraced.
I only wish you could understand
The feelings I have for you
The calm I feel when I hold your hand
Longing to know the truth.
You cannot change who I am
Nor what I've become
Label me as you wish
But I'm not the only one.
Falling faster from your grace
You don't know what it's like
You'll never know the real me
Only my stereotype.
Don't quote me as someone you've known before
Or someone you've seen on TV
I'm not the girl you think I am
I'm who I want to be.
Someone you'll never understand
With my own individuality
I'm the one you've always dread
I am simply me.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

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that was the second

Thursday, February 28, 2008

MESS

My life is a mess,
most of the days
i don't want to get out of bed.
i feel depress, but my depression
it's not that kind that people are
sad the whole time, people around
me don't even know don't see,
what i am going through,
I just want to move on,
live my life without having to
fantasise about some other
life that Iwould want to have,
i am afraid that i am escaping
reality and scares me that
there's moments where
i really believe, i am there,
what if i don't come back,
what ifi stayed there for ever?
that's why i have decide to seek
professionalhelp, and hope that
i can deal with whatever
it is that have to deal.
and go on.

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my very first blog

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

the you that you look at me------------- (I wish) you dont look at me you are so far away
it's not gonna work ----------------------oh yes it would
whats the point?-------------------------the point is that I love you
broken hearts know when is going to rain-------no, I dont
step carefully on my heart-------------------it's ok you can do whatever you want
so that you wont hurt my grass--------------I rather you hurt me, than not do anything at all
I'll give cover when you need-----------------anything you want
and you need just call-------------------------I really wish you would do it anytime.
I warn you--------------------------
take care------------------
if failed---------------------------------
why go look for something out there-------------
because you can have anything you want with me from me anytime,
you just have to say the word, I'll get on the plane and I am there for you, only for you.....
I love You....
DMD